Welcome to Progressivia, the city of tomorrow! It’s 2045, and the progressive agenda has not just been followed; it’s been run with—literally, since running is now the city’s official transport (next to e-biking, of course).
In Progressivia, your carbon card is your passport to the world. Want to hop on the hyperloop to the next block? That’ll cost you two carbon credits. Dreaming of a steak? Better have saved up your meat rations—only 1.2 meals of meat per week here, and yes, tofu has been in a suspiciously high demand.
The residents are a hearty bunch, navigating the e-bike traffic jams with the dexterity of a squirrel on an agility course. Parking your e-bike is a competitive sport; rumor has it that the next Olympics will feature it, right after competitive recycling.
Housing is 100% sustainable and 50% transparent—privacy took a hit, but hey, the neighbours love your new pajamas. The walls are so green, they photosynthesize, and every home is equipped with a composting toilet—though no one has figured out where the compost actually goes.
As for travel, forget exotic vacations. The farthest you can go on your carbon budget is the virtual reality booth down the street, offering a simulated ‘Day at the Beach’—sunburn and sand in your shorts not included.
Progressivia, where the air is clean, the conscience cleaner, and where you’d better pedal fast if you want that last slice of lab-grown bacon. Progress? Absolutely. Just don’t forget to log your laughter—it might just cost you a carbon credit.